Today’s blog post is prompted by Brit Mum’s question, what changes would you make in your personal life that would make life easier, better or more joyful?
There are many changes that are needed to improve my life at the moment. Most of all I would love for my autistic son to be happily settled into school once more and for my aspergers daughter to be understood and supported by her school. If I could achieve these things for my children then it would not only have a positive affect on my children but also for me personally. I would feel less stressed and worried about their education and future and I would have more time to be me and to do the ordinary ‘mum’ things.
As it is, it feels I am a long way from achieving those things as much of my time is spent helping and advocating for my children. I don’t resent doing all I can for my children and indeed I have learnt a lot through the process but what I do resent is that the education system has failed to support my children which has exposed them to low self esteem and mental health problems. Equally worrying is the thought that my children are at risk of unemployment and poverty in adult life.
It sounds ironic that education that is supposed to empower people and provide the foundation for a good life is actually doing the opposite in our family. Not only has it made my children’s disabilities more acutely felt, it has also changed my life in ways that I never expected when I first became a mother.
Back then, I never imagined that two of my three children would be diagnosed with an autistic spectrum disorder or that my children’s education would be worse than mine. Neither did I imagine that I would be forced to give up work to care for my son. Instead I expected at this stage of my life to be back in work and enjoying a slightly easier time, free from the challenges of those early years of motherhood. As it is, I spend my days at home, supporting my autistic son and trying to help him overcome his fear and anxiety that is stopping him from attending school. It is a frustrating situation to be in at times and often I feel at the edge of society looking on as other mums I know start to return to work or do other things now that their children are settled at school. If I sound jealous, I don’t mean to. I would never deny others the chance for them and their families to do well or to be happy. I just wish that my family had similar opportunities.
This is why, for me, the biggest change I would like is for my children to be happy and settled in school and enjoying the same opportunities as everyone else. With that change, my life and that of my family would improve so much.
This post is day 14 of the nablopomo challenge.