You’ve probably heard about the government proposal to extend school hours to 45 hours of education per week. Apparently it is designed to allow ALL parents to work full time without resorting to additional childcare. You can read more about it here.
My view is that whilst I agree that an extended school day could benefit working parents and those who need help with bringing up their children, it won’t work for everyone. There are many reasons why I think this. Disability, health issues, bullying and other social difficulties can make school a difficult experience for some children and therefore it seems harsh to expect them to endure an even longer day. My son and daughter are an illustration of this. Their autism spectrum disorders mean it’s difficult for them to cope with the multitude of sensory, social and learning demands being made upon them. Even with support in school, there is only so much that their brains can cope with without becoming unwell. For them they need to have a chance to relax at home in order to recover from a school day. Without that break their ability to learn becomes compromised and the risk of further health problems and school refusal/absence increases.
Unfortunately the government does not appear to have considered the needs of children such as mine. There again, as we’ve seen with this Tory government time and again, the needs of those with disabilities or illnesses don’t count for very much; neither do the needs of their carers who incidentally save the economy billions of pounds per year (calculated by Carers UK to be £119 billion per year). Their preoccupation is with the economic contribution of individuals, particularly women who they believe could be working more and contributing to the economy if childcare was made more accessible. I don’t deny that childcare isn’t a problem; I know myself how hard it is to combine work with looking after children.
However I also know the importance of spending time with my children after school and this brings me on to another reason why an extended school day is problematic. Time after school provides opportunities in which a parent can help their child with homework, teach them life skills such as cooking and enjoy activities together such as watching television, playing games and chatting over a family meal. These are important opportunities for interaction, socialisation and learning and for bonding between family members. An extended school day would eat into and this bothers me because it implies that family is not important in nurturing children. The family unit is a vital source of unconditional love and support that cannot easily be replicated in the school environment or in after school clubs.
Indeed for those of us with disabled children, the practical and emotional support that we provide cannot always be provided by people who run after school activities. Knowledge of disabilities (particularly hidden disabilities) can be lacking even in the school environment let alone sports and social groups. As I have experienced, my children have been unable to access after school clubs due to inexperienced staff who didn’t know how to support them. This led to them becoming confused and distressed and eventually they refused to join in. If this is the sort of thing that happens now, what will the repercussions be if the school day is extended? Has anyone in government considered the impact of this proposal on the sick and disabled?
It seems that disability has not been part of this debate and yet it should be. If the government want to improve female participation in the workplace, if they want to improve the standard of living for families and lift families out of poverty then they need to consider disability and illness. It is not enough just to focus on working parents or those who struggle to bring up their children and to find a solution to meet their needs. To do so overlooks the needs of a great many other families out there who, for whatever reason, do not want to pass their children over to the state for 9 hours a day.
-v-
I’ve added this post to the Britmum’s linky (click here) on longer school hours. Please check it out if you can; there are some great reads. Alternatively join the discussion and add your views.
As you know I’ve been trialling home education for my daughter. Initially I was very hesitant about doing this on top of looking after my son and running a home. However, with all the difficulties we’ve been having with my daughter’s schooling I decided I had no choice but to give it a go.
I started off gently, doing a couple of hours a week recapping some of the primary curriculum in literacy and numeracy. I tried a combination of resources, the exercise books you get in W H Smith and the like, the KS2/KS3 bitesize website and some of my own lessons. (PS I always plan my lessons even if I use other resources.) Overall my daughter engaged quite well though it was quite apparent that after 30-45 minutes of what I call pen and paper work she was too tired to continue and we would often have to end the session. In contrast when we did more hands on work she was much more alert and I could often extend the session beyond an hour without her realising it! As a result the emphasis of our lessons has now become much more practical and I’ve now included cookery into our weekly timetable. It is obvious to all how much pleasure she is getting from this and I was really pleased to hear her excitedly tell her nan about a stir fry she cooked the other week (see my wordless Wednesday picture)! This is just what I wanted to happen; my daughter feeling good about something because for so long school was too hard for her and she lost confidence.
Building on the cooking success we’ve now including craft lessons which I’ve based on a DK Craft Book which I was lucky enough to find marked down in a local book store. It is a lovely book which covers textile crafts, papercrafts, jewellery, ceramics and glass, candles and soap and eco crafts. Each section describes and illustrates the tools and materials needed for a particular craft followed by step by step techniques and a project. Each section is well illustrated which makes it easier for my daughter (who is a visual learner) to choose her favourite project and to follow the written instructions. Indeed so successful is this book in engaging my daughter that she has chosen about 20 projects!! This week my daughter has started her first project: glass painting which she has enjoyed so much that she has asked to do ceramic painting next month.
Besides craft and cookery I am still working with her on her literacy and numeracy every week and am very slowly introducing slightly more challenging work particularly in maths where she shows some aptitude. Indeed we’re having particular success with shapes at the moment mainly because it involves more hands-on work. It is interesting that while she struggles with number work she can grasp other mathematical concepts much more easily which shows how we can’t rule out someone’s mathematical abilities based on number work alone. As for literacy, this is more challenging mainly because of her difficulties with language which makes reading and writing stories difficult. In view of that, I’m using facts and information as the basis for her literacy work with pleasing results. Indeed it is interesting that once I removed stories and poems (they make no sense to her) she started to relax and engage much more easily with the written word.
Aside from that I’ve also adopted a ‘learning by stealth’ method as my husband calls it. We have been using this approach for a number of years now but essentially it means not forcing learning on our children but embracing their curiosity. I guess many parents do this naturally but with my children it can be harder to engage with them particularly on subjects outside their special interests. A lot also depends on how they feel which means that opportunities to engage with them can be a bit unpredictable. This is why when they do show an interest in something we run with it. To give you an example, my daughter became very curious about sink holes the other day and so I encouraged her to find out more about sink holes on the ipad. As a result she found examples of sink holes across the world which she was able to tell me about. I didn’t formalise this into anything written as I didn’t want to make it a chore for her and put her off. I also think that with her aspergers mind she will learn about something if she is interested in it, which is what happens with my son. In fact he has acquired the most incredible knowledge about military stuff which he has amassed from watching old black and white war films. (Never dispute the value of the television; it is an amazing resource for some of our SEN children.)
However, I would be lying if I said that home education was easy. I still worry whether I’m doing the right thing. I worry about whether I should be following the curriculum or not (though I’m finding that my daughter’s interests and abilities are leading us away from that.) Then there are the anti home educators who dismiss what people like me are doing and try to discredit our work with whatever spurious evidence they can find. I try not to worry about this but the pressure is there nonetheless. On the other hand home education is the only option available to us at the moment. My daughter is still struggling to leave the house and help is not easy to get. At a recent CAMHS appointment I was told that there is a four month waiting list for talking therapy so the question is what do I do in the meantime? I suppose I could continue to fight the system but for what? I know from my son’s experiences that there is no school in my area that can meet the needs of an autistic child with anxiety problems so why bother fighting for something that doesn’t exist. I’d much rather use my time and energy helping my daughter which I hope is what I’m doing.
In the early days of my son’s diagnosis I felt a compulsion to read as much as possible about autism. It helped and I learnt a lot but after a while I grew tired of reading the academic explanations of autism and turned to reading accounts written by those who had the condition. These provided much more interesting, holistic and human accounts of what it was like to be autistic. I learnt more from them than the academic books which I found to be rather soulless. Nevertheless in time I even stopped reading them. Life was busy, I had no time and in any case I was learning about autism through my daily interactions with my son (and more recently my daughter). I learnt from them, what they liked, what they didn’t, what things upset them, what made them happy. When things became difficult we worked at finding a solution; we learnt to become flexible and creative and to try different approaches. Sometimes we took advice but most of the times that advice was useless, a regurgitated piece from a text book that had little relevance to the boy or girl sitting next to me. I realised then that knowledge about my children came from being with them and that reading from a book (whilst interesting) didn’t have all the answers.
Unfortunately I have met a number of people who don’t appreciate how much you learn as a parent of autistic children. They appear not to value the knowledge gained within the family and the immense amount of support we give to our loved ones. Instead they seem to think that reading a book or attending a course gives them superiority over people like me. It is an infuriating attitude that came to haunt me the other day when someone from the local authority called round. She has a new job to do with children out of education and called me a few days ago to arrange to see me and my son. (It is important to note that my son is in school but our plan to build up his hours has been faltered by the school telling us that they can’t meet need. It’s a complicated situation which we’re trying to sort out.) Anyhow, back to the story. I invited her in and she sat down and almost immediately she launched into a narrative about her career and how much she knew about all things related to autism. She gave me no opportunity to contribute and to ‘share’ ideas and even discounted the report I had produced detailing the educational history of my son. She apparently did not want to lose objectivity of the case.
At this point, I started to feel threatened. If she didn’t want to work with me or even listen to me, what was the real reason for her visit? Did she think I was harming my child in quiet? Did she think I was deliberately keeping my son out of school? Whatever the reason for her visit I was alarmed by her aggressive and arrogant manner. Nevertheless I did my best to cooperate and tried to encourage my son to come downstairs and talk with her. Surprise, surprise he wouldn’t cooperate and remained in his bedroom! As I explained to her, my son is not comfortable with strangers in our home and that it would take many visits for him to feel able to talk with her. She commented that she would return and with that our meeting ended and she left.
I then went back in the house and met my son coming down the stairs. He told me that he would not be speaking to that nasty woman. (Apparently after I had a chat with him he left his bedroom and plonked himself on the stairs ready to go to school. As a result he could hear much of the conversation!) I couldn’t resist an inward chuckle. For all her self-proclaimed expertise she didn’t have a clue about my son’s supersonic hearing and his innate ability to work out whether someone was a friend or foe. This woman was clearly foe.
A press release from the DfE today announced that £30million will be used to fund champions to support families through the new SEN process. Yes, £30,000,000! Sounds good doesn’t it and I’m sure these champions will help some parents but personally I’m not convinced that this is the right way to spend taxpayers money.
I’d rather see the money invested into our education system because if the education system isn’t resourced enough to support ALL of our SEN children than no amount of championing is going to help. Sorry guys but that’s the reality for some families like mine. If there aren’t the schools, the specialist trained teachers and access to other therapies then no amount of champions are going to help.
I know myself that after going through the statementing process that the most challenging thing we faced was then to find a school that could meet need. Quite simply we didn’t, not in the Midlands anyhow, which is why I’m not even bothering with the education system anymore. I’ve wasted so much time and energy fighting for something that doesn’t exist that I’m now doing it myself. This is proving to be a much more satisfying and positive experience than fighting against a system that is not up to the job of educating my daughter. It also means my daughter is getting an education as I’m no longer preoccupied with fighting for that provision.
So for me I am not impressed that public money is going to fund key workers. I know that for my family having a key worker would not have improved our situation. In any case we already had access to support (Ipsea, Parent Partnership). What we needed was access to a properly resourced education system!
I have kept this post back for a while as it is a depressing read. Nevertheless with the news today that more than 75% of our unemployed young people do not feel they have anything worth living for, I think it’s time I share what I have learnt about 16 + provision.
In the last few months we’ve been exploring post 16 options for our son. This has involved various trips to mainstream and specialist colleges and talking to our specialist careers advisor about what is available. On paper there appears to be lots on offer (including support) as long as your young person can cope with the FT nature of college courses. If someone can’t keep up their attendance they’re thrown out. For my son this is a problem. Due to the unpredictable nature of his ASD the professionals (and us) do not think he will manage such a course, even a course in a specialist college. There is a slim chance that the sixth forms at the local MLD schools may be able to provide an individualised programme but my son refuses to engage with that. He has made it clear that he doesn’t want to go to a special college but neither has he expressed any interest in going anywhere else or doing anything. I think the transition to post 16 is troubling him a lot and his response to that uncertainty is to shut down and not properly engage.
For now we don’t know what to do. I think it’s important that he goes somewhere outside the house, even if it’s for only a day or two in order to build up his confidence and to prevent his anxiety becoming worse but there doesn’t appear to be anything set up for people with ASD/mental health issues. I asked our careers advisor what happens to people like my son and her response was that many of them end up on ESA (for those of you unfamiliar with this, ESA is an employment support allowance for ill or disabled people who are unable to work).
I couldn’t believe what I had heard, that in effect there is so little provision that young people like my son end up at home and on benefits. Seriously, if this is what is happening I am sickened and beyond angry that the country has in effect given up on these young people. What sort of life will my funny, practical and creative boy have if he is dumped on benefits at the age of 16? It is totally wrong in my opinion and a situation I will not accept. My son has to do something even if I have to create something myself.
About this time last year I did a New Year Resolution post, writing down some of the things I’d like to achieve during 2013. It was a bit of a selfish post, a way to motivate myself to improve the balance in my life as I was feeling totally consumed by all things #SEN.
Well a year on I think I can say that I have made some improvements. I have read a great deal of books (reviews still in the pipeline) and I have picked up a new hobby – crochet. From picking up my first crochet hook last Christmas I have taught myself enough skills to have started a huge 300+ square blanket . It really is a project and a half but I love dipping into it whenever I have a moment to whip up a few squares. It helps to focus my mind on something else and stops me dwelling for too long on the negatives in life which sure as hell have been plentiful this year. It also makes me feel as if I am accomplishing something which is a rather lovely feeling.
Besides the blanket I also created this Christmas wreath which was inspired by Attic24, a really super blog that I recommend to anyone starting out on the crochet journey. It took some work, this wreath of mine, but I am so pleased at the end result and I adore its place on my kitchen wall. It lifts my spirits every time I look at it.
Ta-dah!
For some reason my wreath is lacking vibrancy in this picture. Maybe it’s due to the lighting as I took the picture in the evening but I think you get the idea!
Anyway moving on. Work has also been good this year. I continue to work as a support worker (albeit very part time) and am enjoying my contact with the students and tutors though the politics of education remains an issue with me. For those of you who don’t know I started training as a skills for life tutor many years ago but had to give it up due to demands at home. Now I am unable to progress as the ‘rules’ state that I can’t teach unless I have the qualifications but I can’t get the qualifications without a placement. Sigh, the inflexibility is so rubbish and I often feel frustrated at not being able to develop a career but with two #SEN kids the reality of me ever having a good job is remote. My kids come first which is what it should be but still I have moments of frustration that I can’t do anything more meaningful outside the home.
In terms of my social life; this is pretty dismal. I have gone from someone who had a fair number of friends to someone who has little contact with anyone these days. This is partly my fault. I simply have not made the time for anyone either because I’m too busy or feeling too tired. I ought to try harder but exhaustion often gets the better of me and any spare time I have is spent curled up on the settee with my crochet. I have also found that as my children have got older it has become harder to keep the connections going. I think in part this is due to the widening ‘developmental’ gap between my children and others the same age. My children cannot socialise very well which means that I don’t get any contact with other parents. Similarly those who I did know when they were younger have not understood our difficulties enough to stand by our side. This doesn’t bother me so much these days. I don’t want people around me who make me or my children feel unhappy; far better to focus on those who do make us feel good.
This also rather nicely moves me onto the subject of social media which frankly has been a god send. I can’t tell you how relieving it is to tweet with people in the same boat and to read their blogs. It is simply wonderful to think that I am not alone in the world even if I do feel alone at times. It helps me to get things into perspective and to shake myself out of the hole of self pity. So to all of you who use social media in a positive way to help others or to spread awareness of a particular cause I want to thank you for doing what you do. Your courage in sharing your stories helps others to feel less alone and I am sure helps to break the taboo over certain subjects. I hope very much that one day these efforts will pay off and that the world will become a much more tolerant place particularly to those with invisible disabilities.
And with that I’d like to wish you all a very happy and peaceful New Year.
Deb xxx
Recently I became involved in an online discussion about the levels of support available to home educating parents. As someone who is seriously considering this route I was particularly interested to hear from more experienced home educators. As a result we started to discuss the types of support on offer but unfortunately the conversation deteriorated when one contributor suggested that some home educating parents were using home education as a means to abuse their children in secret.
The comment was antagonistic and had no place in our discussion at the time but the commenter argued that it was important to compare like by like, ie you can’t compare the best of home education with the worst of school system. That is a fair point but in my opinion stating that some home educators were abusers in hiding is not equivalent to saying that for some children schooling does not work. For example we haven’t specified the reasons why school fails some children (there are a multitude of reasons anyhow) and yet the contributor gives only one reason (and a provocative reason too) as to why home education may not be such a good thing. Now I’m not saying that abuse doesn’t happen in home educating households but lets remind ourselves that it also happens to children who are attending schools. So my point is if someone is going to talk about abuse then it is only fair if they discuss all the contexts in which this happens. To only mention it in relation to home education is tantamount to a slur particularly when it is not backed up by any credible evidence (and yes that TES article which was referred to was no more than an emotive piece of journalistic rubbish that was designed to discredit home education). Not surprisingly the comments felt like an attack on home educators and in view of that I want to make several things clear.
1. I love being with my children. To be able to support them, care for them and educate them is something I enjoy. This may seem strange to some people who can’t wait for their kids to be at school but when school becomes so difficult for your child then home education can be a very attractive option. Even if it arises out of lack of choice or lack of support, parents can rise to the challenge of home educating and find (as I am currently finding) that the flexibility and safety of home creates a perfect learning environment. Home educating is a viable option; it should not be derided or seen as the lesser option to school.
2. I am more than qualified to teach my children. I have considerable academic qualifications and tons of life experience. I also work with adults with specific learning difficulties. I am more than qualified to teach my children so please do not assume that because I am ‘just a parent’ that I know nothing. I know more about my children than anyone else. I know how my children learn. I know what interests them, I know what doesn’t. I know how to engage them and I know when to back off when they are overwhelmed. I also know my limitations and when it becomes important to use the services of someone else in the support/education of my children.
3. Abuse and neglect can happen in our schools. It can happen to children who are in the education system, it can happen at the hands of professionals, it can happen at the hands of other pupils (bullying) and it can occur through lack of support. I’ve seen the way my autistic children have been treated in school and the damage that has been inflicted on their vulnerable minds. I’ve also seen how the imposition of a rigid curriculum with few opportunities for creative or independent thinking can also wear some young people down. Its tragic but that is the reality of a standardised education system; it doesn’t suit everyone.
However, I also know that there are some outstanding schools and some outstanding teachers who do great things. There are also some outstanding home teachers. The point is that not one system is better than the other and we ought to be mindful of that and not pitch one against the other. To do so divides our community and deprives the sharing of information that could help parents make an informed decision about how best to educate their child.
-v-
Another response to the claim that home education is being used as a cover for abuse is this powerful post by Live Otherwise – I have been accused of neglect . Though this post is two years old it is still very pertinent to recent discussions. I recommend that you read it and the comments.
I don’t often talk about my son on this blog, particularly in negative terms, as I am respectful of his need to navigate his teen years away from social media. However, this Christmas has been so successful that I think it’s worth sharing some of the amazing progress he has made.
For many years Christmas was not an easy time for us. The change in routine and all the sensory stuff of the festive season was too much for my son who would often end up totally overwhelmed by it all. We did everything we could to make Christmas doable for him and also our other children (as well as managing the expectations of others) but it was hard meeting everyone’s needs. Often we found ourselves prioritising our son’s needs above everyone else which sounds unfair to our other children but our thinking was that if we made Christmas easier for him then it meant Christmas was more enjoyable for everyone else. There is nothing worse than Christmas being blighted by meltdowns. This isn’t a Christmas for anyone as meltdowns need not end as quickly as they begin; they can take days to recover from.
And so we set to create an autism-friendly Christmas, well as autism friendly as possible. We reduced the number of presents, involved our son in choosing his present, kept socialising to a minimum (or not at all) and kept to a strict ‘home-based’ routine. It wasn’t easy. Difficult behaviour continued and sometimes we wondered if life would ever get better but with persistence and dedication from us we are now witnessing a turnaround. Except for school (another subject for another day) he is coping so much better with the festive season that he now ”loves Christmas” and the family traditions we have set up. In fact such has been the transformation in him that he has even been able to cope with a trip to the big city to see the German Market. This was unthinkable even a couple of years ago but now, with our support, he can walk through a busy market and cope with the multitude of sights, sounds and smells. I am immensely proud.
His progress doesn’t end there though because this Christmas for the first time in many years we have had family over for Christmas day. I had always shied away from entertaining at Christmas because my son could never cope but now he can sit at the table with other people and enjoy his Christmas lunch. As well as that he has joined in with a few of our family games and laughed at Mrs Brown’s Boys (particularly her bucking bronco in the Christmas tree, an absolutely hilarious sketch). A few years ago I could never have imagined my son even being able to sit still to watch the television yet alone laugh at a comedy.
Of course I am not so naive to expect that we’ve ‘got there’ and that there won’t be challenging times ahead. With the uncertainty of post 16 and what will happen in early adulthood I am naturally anxious for the future but for now I’m going to enjoy the good times while they last.
© 2011-2014 Aspie in the family All Rights Reserved
